Work Life Balance Is a Myth!! I know that I am about to skewer a sacred cow here. Expose the fact that the transparent, dangling carrot of achieving "balance" between the demands of the workplace, demands of home life and the aspiration of achieving harmony, Zen, and self-fulfillment is as real as the Wizard of Oz.

Well, I am saying it. There is no balance. Every time I hear the term, I feel a boiling rage inside. Why? Because I get a mental image of a circus seal with a hat balancing on a big, beach ball, on one flipper. I also have flashbacks of attempting to bend myself into a pretzel in vain attempts to achieve the balance.
Balance no. Congruence, yes.

Work and life must be in congruence with one another. Banish the guilt. Banish the fallacy "if I just worked harder," "if I was a better person," "if I had better time management skills," "if I just didn’t stay up watching CSI Miami last night."
So how does this relate to conflict at work? Simple – if people are over-stressed, blaming and shaming themselves for not being good enough and not doing good enough, they are ripe for workplace conflict. They are overly sensitive to criticism. They may withdraw. Or worse, lash out inappropriately. The result is damaged credibility and damaged workplace relationships.
Anyone else out there felt pretzel-like? Interested in your comments.

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At work, humor can be used to build or break working relationships. Often men and women have the same intent -to build a sense of camaraderie -when joking or kidding around.

However, women jest. Men joust.

The Jester, if you will, will use self deprecating humor or feel good humor.

The Jouster will use humor to skewer or unseat the opponent and for the benefit of others. It is humor and one- ups-manship. And unless you are prepared to skewer back, it can be a demoralizing experience.

Not a big deal? Oh contraire! I hear of more women leaving male-dominated environments because of the Jousting Atmosphere.

As one woman put it “there was just too much testosterone! The men did not know when to dial it down!”

I am not saying that men need to become women with penises. Nor should women be men with breasts. What I am saying is that everyone should be conscientious of how they use humor in work groups.

So are you a Jester or a Jouster? Have you ever been a Jester in a group of Jousters? Or a Jouster in a group of Jesters? (For that second one, will anyone fess up if the Jouster with the Jesters might have led to complaints of bullying or harassment? Just wondering…)

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