"Conflict is the sound made by cracks in your system."

So says my colleague Ms. Sue Pivetta.  Here are some more words of wisdom from Sue.

 “ [Conflict] is contradictory forces co-existing in a single space. So, when conflict happens, you could recognize the great opportunity for a leader to show leadership by filling NEEDS. Or by setting limits on behavior that is the result of immaturity in the work place.

Yet in conflict people tend to: (1) avoid, ignore the conflict and hold resentment (2) deny the conflict; what conflict (3) react emotionally; become aggressive, reclusive, victimized, or defensive (4) blame the other (5) delegate the situation to someone else - generally a supervisor.

As a leader it is important to become the 'curious observer' and not the victim of this stuff. It is also important as the observer to understand ALL BEHAVIOR MAKES SENSE (it's about need silly). Doesn't mean all behavior is acceptable though!!!”

Amen!

Consequently, if you were to analyze your departmental & organizational culture which of the 5 responses to conflict do you see the most? Digging deeper, how do individual team members respond to the conflict? 

If you have someone who denies and minimizes working with someone who holds onto resentment & keeps a secret score card, you will be hearing loud cracking noises in the form of gossip, complaints, and coalition building.

As a leader, set down the expectations of behavior. Play mediator when you need to.  Umpire when you must. Finally, take personal accountability that as a leader you are ultimately responsible for the team. Its’ performance. Its’ emotional climate. Its’ dysfunction.

Good luck!