Is the world full of “Self Entitled Babies”?

In a Twitter post some time back I asked “Are employees seizing the day or seizing the pay?”  One response was telling “It’s all about the pay in this world of self entitled babies. I see so many 70 % out there it’s amazing anything gets done”.

Apparently, some feel employers aren’t doing enough to drive performance while other feel employers aren’t doing enough to meet needs.  Are the two related-who really knows.  My bet is that it isn’t the same for everyone.

What is amazing to me is the amount of mutual resentment that is out there.  Here is what folks don’t seem to get:

1. It is the employee’s responsibility to look after themselves.
2. When negotiating salary, PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SELF-INTERESTED. 
3. Our culture equates pay with value.
4. People equate level of pay with Personal Value.
5. Everyone knows an overpaid idiot.
6. Life is expensive. We need money to survive.
7. Most people have ZERO concept about the true Fair Market Value (FMV) of their services.  They don't see what others are paid. 
8. HR & MANAGEMENT ASKS people what their last salary was to determine how much they are “worth” then get upset when prospective employees decline to provide the information. THUS, no fair turning around and becoming miffed when people want more money because they believe that they are delivering value.
9. Employees believe that they are doing the work required of the job. If they are not, that is an issue of management failing to manage.
10. Who wasn’t a whining, overly entitled cry baby at 20?  Seriously, most employees entering the work force have to be trained to be employees.  They have little or no real life experience. Did you really expect a worldly wise 20 something?

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Big Bossy Cow!!!!! That is how I feel when someone interrupts me.  
BUT-I am really guilty of interrupting others.  This article by my friend and college Ivy Meadors of High Tech High Touch Solutions really got me thinking so I wanted to share it with you.

How Do You Feel When Someone Interrupts You?

Interruption one of my pet peeves. I have been known to make the same mistake too - all of us do, from time to time. There are people who do it constantly though, and no matter how often they are called on it, they don't modify the behavior.

It is not only inconsiderate and disrespectful, it can damage your communication efforts. Groups of people who do not listen to one another are hurting the team... risk having a negative impact on handling a situation correctly.

It seems some people prefer to talk over one another constantly, or simply do not pay attention to what their colleagues or customers are trying to talk with them about. Sometimes, this is an ego-centric issue. In other cases, it is a behavioral thing. For instance, people who have ADHD tend to interrupt more often because their brain works differently. Some people don't even think about the fact they are interrupting others, until it is pointed out to them. The younger generations are pros at interrupting. They need direction to understand the importance of changing this behavior.

If you, or your team members, tend to interrupt people, you can start training today to modify this behavior using a cell phone. Since the wireless systems have a small delay in the signal (latency), you can use that as a "timer" to remind you to pause longer. Try to avoid interrupting the people you speak to on your cell phone and you will likely see an improvement in how often you interrupt others.

You've probably watched programs who have someone on a remote video conference call over satellite (i.e. Anderson Cooper, Oprah) and noticed how they have learned to wait for an answer instead of talking over one another.  Try waiting to hear the other person's' response before speaking. You will have a much better exchange of information and your listener will feel like you have more respect for them and are interested in what they have to say. You'll be surprised what you will "hear".

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F.I.N.E. = faulty, inferior, no good, erroneous

I am a huge fan of  Patrick Williams.  He is an expert in communication and building relationships.  Yes, he is a salesman extra ordinare.  I subscribe to Patrick's "Sales Tip of the Day."  He has some real gems of information on how to care for customers, energize yourself, & the importance of knowing-really knowing your craft.  (See his contact information below).

Several months ago Patrick sent out this little gem.  I know that I am guilty of saying "fine" when what I really mean is "NO! IT IS NOT FINE."   

Read on about F.I.N.E.  Although Partick uses the example of a poor experience at a restaruant, the principle rings true for workplace encounters too.  Finally, take Patrick's advice and move to solutions!

F.I.N.E.

Have you ever had a less than perfect experience at a restaurant??

Not so bad that you complained about anything, but not the best quality either.  And when the server came around to ask how everything was, you just answered "fine" rather than reveal what you really thought.

We both know that "fine" is not good.

Fine is the enemy of fantastic.

F.I.N.E. stands for "faulty, inferior, no good, erroneous".

Have any of your customers said that your product, service or treatment was just "fine'?  Whenever that happens, you can bet that something is not quite right.  

If you want to keep that customer, dig a little deeper to uncover the problem so you can fix it.

© 2010 YOU ROCK!^(TM) Communications

REQUEST LINE IS OPEN - Got a sales or marketing challenge?  Send an email with the details, and I'll share some ideas in a future sales tip.

-----

Patrick Williams, Hit-Maker 
Helping people and businesses be #1 in their market!
http://www.YouRockCommunications.com  ·  253-318-7503

LinkedIn - http://www.linkedin.com/in/PatrickLWilliams
Twitter - http://twitter.com/yourocktm

YOU ROCK Communications
10408 Bujacich Rd NW
Gig Harbor, WA 98332
USA

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Earlier this month, I was a guest on Denise Rubin’s Radio Program Work Does Matter. It was a great conversation about how to handle workplace conflict, the definition of “hackles”, and tactics that work. Give it a listen via the Work Does Matter Web site. Tell me what you think. Really. I know that some of you do have differenct opinions.

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I am so pleased to share with you this post by guest blogger Amy Stephson. Amy and I have enjoyed coffee dates  talking shop about workplace harassment and conflict. I thought that you would ejnoy hearing some words of wisdome from her.

Reflections of a Workplace Investigator.

A gay male employee complains: My co-worker and her husband lunch together every day, but it’s discriminatory that she doesn’t want me to discuss my same sex partner. The co-worker says: I’m a Christian and homosexuality is against my religion. I’m happy to interact with my gay co-worker, but don’t want to have to hear about his partner.

An African-American employee complains: My co-workers laugh and talk about me in their native language. This is harassment. The co-workers reply: When we use our language, we’re not talking about her; we’re just chatting and only do it when no one else is around. Our employer’s policy allows us to speak in our language and it would be discriminatory to stop us.

These are just two of the many scenarios in the life of a workplace investigator. Most are more mundane: Managers have terrible communication skills or play favorites. Poor performers blame bias rather than their job performance. Managers have anger problems. Perceptually challenged employees create havoc. People hate their jobs, but can’t find another that pays as well, so make trouble.

And now a new source of conflict is creating challenges in the workplace: generational diversity. The 62-79 year-old “Matures” (as consultant Karyl K. Innis calls them) have very different attitudes toward work than the 43-66 year-old Boomers, who in turn have different attitudes than the 28–42 year-old “Gen X’ers” or the under-28 “Gen Y’s.”

Is there an underlying reason for all this? Much of it is just human nature: people are complex, see the world through their own perceptual lens, have competing interests, have personality conflicts, lack the necessary competencies, offend and get offended. We live in a country where personal boundaries are often blurred, many have a sense of entitlement or victimhood, and television shows workplaces where there’s more talk of sex than work.

There’s another reason why employers end up having to hire investigators: They fail to prevent conflict through policies, training, and coaching. And then, when conflicts do arise, they fail to manage them in a timely manner. Proactively dealing with conflict may seem like a distraction, but it’s an essential part of risk management and running a productive, efficient business.

***
Amy Stephson is a Seattle employment attorney whose practice emphasizes conducting independent workplace investigations. She is also a workplace consultant and coach. She can be reached at http://www.amystephson.com.

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Here is something for you to ponder. I received it in an email this morning from a colleague:

In the morning my new mantra before I step on the floor to say good morning to my friends. I say to myself-

“Today I will look at this floor through the eyes of an owner.”

I find if I am subconsciously asking myself “If this was my building and my business, how would I see the things around me?”

In the evening I ask myself

“Did I do more good than harm today?” and “Why did I just answer that way?”

This forces me to “STOP!” and take a personal inventory of the day. If I am off track then I use that as my focus for tomorrow.

So how is your day going?

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This is an email I received from a colleague. I thought that I would share it with all of you -after getting permission and redacting. It is an excellent example of how1 statement can make a difference at work! READ on…

Good Morning ****,

I just had this happen to me and wanted to share it with you both…

To me there seems to be three types of people in this world � Optimists (the glass is half full), Pessimists (the glass is half empty) and your Optimistic Pessimists (the glass is half full � of POISON) ;o). I guess it is true however that perception is reality and we take things as we choose to see them.

Case in point my little email parlay with our front desk receptionist.

From: ***
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 10:37 AM
To: ****
Subject: BLESS YOU!
________________________________________

From: ***
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 11:04 AM
To: ***
Subject: RE: BLESS YOU!

Well Thank you Miss *** You just made my day. I am not sure what I did to deserve it but I will sure take it. Bless you, ***! I am glad that you are here with us!
T

________________________________________
________________________________________
From:***
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 11:41 AM
To:***
Subject: RE: BLESS YOU!

I actually heard you sneeze.
Your welcome!
And thank you for the comment!

****

________________________________________

From: ***
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 11:56 AM
To:****
Subject: RE: BLESS YOU!

HA HA HA! It wasn�t me you heard but I will save your bless you in my pocket for next time. ;o)

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I admit it. I love, love, love reality TV. Project Runway, The Apprentice, Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares, The Amazing Race, The Next Food Network Star. I spend every Sunday catching up on the trauma and drama of people fighting to make it to the top or stay out of the bottom.

Why do I love these shows that glorify malfunction, back biting, and nastiness? Because as someone who dives into others conflict all the time, it is like Jane Goodall observing the chimps.

What is good for ratings and interesting entertainment is actually horrid for the workplace. Through shows like the Apprentice, Hell’s Kitchen, and Project Runway naive people are learning everything not to do to be successful at work.

Teamwork? No way! Look out for number one. Respectful communication? Nope. Snipe and gossip. Conflict resolution skills? Forget it!

One lesson that is spot on..if you mess with someone, they will not forget and will try and take you down.

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Trouble sleeping this week? Workplace stress might be the culprit. The September issue of Body and Soul magazine cites a University of Michigan study found that “people who often feel hassled on the job were more likely to develop sleep problems. In fact”, says Body and Soul, “everyday struggles with coworkers seem to disrupt sleep even more than long hours, night shifts, or job insecurity.”

Yep. I have experienced that. And still experience disrupted sleep when work pressure (often self-imposed) increases. Anyone else experience this? Maybe the better question is “has anyone experienced you as cranky, ill-tempered, abrupt, even snarky because you were stress and sleep deprived. Do I even need to say how that will not help you career advancement? Did you even recognize that you weren’t at your best or did someone point it out to you? How did you recover?

While I am no expert on sleep, I do know that tired = cranky and non productive. If you need some resources to address sleep check out the articles on Body and Soul on sleep. If you would like more info on how to address the tension check out the Enews archive. (You may want to check out the H.A.L.T. Article inparticular). To hear a a newscast on the U of Michigan report click here.

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Work Life Balance Is a Myth!! I know that I am about to skewer a sacred cow here. Expose the fact that the transparent, dangling carrot of achieving "balance" between the demands of the workplace, demands of home life and the aspiration of achieving harmony, Zen, and self-fulfillment is as real as the Wizard of Oz.

Well, I am saying it. There is no balance. Every time I hear the term, I feel a boiling rage inside. Why? Because I get a mental image of a circus seal with a hat balancing on a big, beach ball, on one flipper. I also have flashbacks of attempting to bend myself into a pretzel in vain attempts to achieve the balance.
Balance no. Congruence, yes.

Work and life must be in congruence with one another. Banish the guilt. Banish the fallacy "if I just worked harder," "if I was a better person," "if I had better time management skills," "if I just didn’t stay up watching CSI Miami last night."
So how does this relate to conflict at work? Simple – if people are over-stressed, blaming and shaming themselves for not being good enough and not doing good enough, they are ripe for workplace conflict. They are overly sensitive to criticism. They may withdraw. Or worse, lash out inappropriately. The result is damaged credibility and damaged workplace relationships.
Anyone else out there felt pretzel-like? Interested in your comments.

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