When is a victim not really a victim?

There I was sitting outside of Whole Foods eating my lunch.  It was a beautiful day.  An older man with 2 miniature pinchers (think very small Doberman ) sat a few tables away.  He seemed to be enjoying the day.  He seemed to be enjoying hanging out with his dogs.  It was all tranquil.

Until...SHE showed up!  The wife. Oh boy, was she steamed.  She was yelling at him. Shaming and Blaming. "Where were you!"  "Why don't you have your cell phone!"  "I have been looking for you!"  "I have been all over!"

I thought "Wow, the poor guy.  He is getting pooped on in public big time."   He looked like a hapless victim.  He acted like one too. Standing up quietly and walking away from the wrath of THE WIFE.

Then I started to reflect on what THE WIFE had said.  During the course of her rant she mentioned that 

1. She went in look for something that was not there
2. She went back to where he had dropped her off.
3. He was not there
4. She went back into the store to look for him.  Not finding him, she went back to front entrance and waited for him. 
5. She waited and waited.
6. She tried calling him. She could not reach him.
7. She spent 20 minutes searching the store for him.
8. She decided to shop
9. She finally found him.
10. "You ALWAYS do this!!"

It was "You ALWAYS do this" that really got my attention.  I can imagine that THE HUSBAND thought it was a nice idea to go run an errand or two, park the car, take the dogs for a walk then find a pleasant place to sit.  I will bet he thought "she will figure it out."

Now, at the outset HE looked like the VICTIM.  Upon reflection, I had a lot more sympathy for THE WIFE. I mean, how annoying is that behavior.

So here are the morals to this sad tale of The Victim Who is Not A Victim

• A victim may not be a victim, but an instigator.
• People can and will follow their own agendas
• Your agenda may be obvious to you and a mystery to others
• You need to move forward  or get sucked into the "YOU ALWAYS DO THIS" ridiculousness

I think all THE WIFE, like most of us who feel neglected or victimized, wanted to hear was "I am sorry. I didn't realize the impact on you.  It won't happen again."

Too bad.  I wonder who will get those miniture pinchers in the divorce?