Conflict Management Strategies eNewsletter
Vol III, Issue 6, October, 2006

After she said it, I thought “did she just say what I think she said?” It took me aback. I turned from the group to write it down…

“The work isn’t difficult. Dealing with people is difficult!”

Let me back up. The person who said this is a 911 call center manager. She oversees 911 operators-those brave souls who take all the emergency calls, people hurt, bleeding, drunk, mean or abused. Those operators who are the calm voice on the other end of the line who say “help is on the way.” To her, and the other 911 folks, the work “isn’t difficult” interaction with “the people” which is to say those “other” people in the call center is the challenge.

I was stunned…that job, NOT difficult?

It comes down to having a process, knowing the process-cold-and practice. Practice how to ask the right questions then transforming your knowledge into action. This holds true whether you are a business owner addressing a customer complaint, an airline pilot practicing emergency procedures, or a 911 operator answering a call.

Most people do not have a roadmap for difficult people. We focus on OUR reactions to them (Imagine if the 911 operators did this… “Sir, your tone of voice is stressing me out. I need for you to rephrase your statement so it is more appealing to me and sounds a little more respectful). Our approaches are haphazard. Our results, usually, unsatisfying.

So take a lesson from the 911 operators. Have a plan. Stick to it. Ask lots of questions to understand the situation. THEN determine what resources to bring forward.

Action Tools

Your roadmap for dealing with people—Difficult or Otherwise.

Have A Plan-What To Do & Stick To It!!!!

Assess the situation: Look around are there “warning signs.” People not talking to one another? Individuals withdrawing or not interacting with the group or particular individuals? Raised voices? Sounds of frustration?

Stay above the Fray. Take the example of the 911 operator-they listen and ask questions to assess the situation. They don’t get pulled into the crisis. The focus remains on evaluating the situation, following best practices, and rallying resources.

Practice your response. Craft 3-5 key questions to help you uncover the impact of the situation. (For specific questions see May's eNews Action Tools) Practice those questions or have them on a card to quickly refer to. Clients have told me this works wonders—it sends a message to the listener that you are really there to find out what is going on.

Try these out. Let me know how it goes.

Where's Carol???

November 4, 2006
Southern California Mediation Association
The Strauss Institute
Pepperdine University.
Santa Monica, California

"18th Annual Conference:
Building Bridges - The Art and Science of Mediation."

www.scmediation.org
www.law.pepperdine.edu/straus

SCMA Program download (pdf)

Fife Chamber of Commerce Employer Solutions Seminar
March 27, 2007
Rushforth Construction

"What Men Need to Know About Women,
Conflict & Workplace-But were too freaked out to ask."

To Register call: 253-922-9320 / 800-305-9926