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Conflict Management Strategies eNewsletter
Vol IV, Issue 11, February 2008
We spend so much of our waking hours at work for it to be an uncomfortable, stressful place. I want to help you bring your best to the workplace and handle sticky situations gracefully and improve your working relationships. These Conflict Management Strategies are intended to help you accomplish that.
Roles And Boundaries At Work Part 2: The Other Side of the Coin
If you recall, last month’s article dealt with the fall out caused by lack of clear boundaries and roles at work. (Roles And Boundaries At Work - Or Lack Thereof) The inspiration for that article was a conversation I had a few weeks ago with a Smart Woman (SW) who struggled with (I thought at the time) clueless New Women (NW).
I followed up with SW and asked how things were going.
SW was still struggling with the turmoil that New Woman (NW) had created by making a claim on SW’s territory and instructing SW how to do SW’s job-as Deputy Director. (This although SW was in a different division of the organization, with a with a different reporting structure, and different directives).
As SW recounted the events, I had an epiphany.
I asked the big question “What does she see her job as?” SW’s answer floored me. “She sees her job as 75% Public Relations and 25% Legislative Outreach. But this is totally wrong. Her boss, my boss and I all see the position not as 75% PR and 25% outreach but as 50% PR and 50% Outreach.”
Here is the rub. NW totally misjudged the expectations of her position! The turmoil in the organization is that over-reaching 25%. The 25% that SW knows is SW’s responsibility is the same 25% that NW erroneously believes is NW’s responsibility. The same 25% that NW’s boss had no expectation that NW would do. Yikes!
Here is the epiphany. NW thinks and still does that she was acting appropriately. She believed she was acting within the parameters of her new position. SHE WAS WRONG AND DID NOT KNOW IT.
NW misunderstood her role and the boundaries of the other position. She acted according to what she thought the position was. In the course of acting outside the boundaries she has created a mess. Tears. People throwing up their hands in exasperation. People secretly plotting her down throw. Hours of time wasted in behind door meetings. Stress. Stress. Stress. Alienation and STRESS! Even after NW’s boss told her that her assumptions were wrong. STRESS!!
Here is the scarier part. Would you or I have acted differently? Likely, no. Unless you utilize the Action Tools below to better plan your entry into a new position or new responsibilities.
Try them out. Your work experience will be less stressful.
Action Tools
These Action Tools are designed to help you out when you are working with others. It might be that you have been promoted, accepted a new position within an organization, or are currently working on a cross-functional team. Using these Action Tools will help you uncover those very important and often hidden boundary lines.
- Determine where the boundaries are—for others. Ask others “How do you see my role?” “What do you see as your responsibility?” “What items do you see as solely within your realm?”
- Seek to understand how others view their roles. Ask “How do you see your role in this project?” “Where and how do you see our roles (or responsibilities) intersecting?”
- Negotiate boundary disputes. It may be that the roles are viewed differently. Avoid turf disputes. Get clarification from higher ups. Or negotiate how to work toward the same end. If someone says to you, “hey, this is my territory!” believe that they mean it. Don’t attempt to take it over, unless you want a border dispute akin to the Israeli Palestinian dispute.
- Avoid the “No Trespassing Sign” When someone comes to you to clarify boundaries or job responsibilities, take the time. It will be to your advantage in the long run.
- Don’t stake claims to property until you know if anyone else owns it. See Tool #1 above.
If your workplace is suffering from a Cliques or “Us vs. Them” situations that impede work? I have a special program can help. Contact me 253-219-5532 or ContactUs@ManagingConflict.com .
I am happy to help you out.
Ask Carol
I regularly field questions from clients and conference participants. You know—those off to the side sort of questions that you are dying to get some feedback on. Here is your chance to pick my brain for FREE. Send me your questions about workplace tension, challenges with working relationships, how to over come bad "Mojo" at work.
Q: HELP! Carol, you mentioned the importance of job descriptions. While my boss understands, the other division manager “doesn’t believe” in job descriptions. This is causing a lot of problems. Any suggestions?
A: Yes. A comment first. Job descriptions are not Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or a Divine Being. It is not a matter of “believing” in them or not. It is a matter of not seeing the BENEFIT in description or, perhaps more accurately, the ROI (return on investment in spending the time and effort to create a job description).
Therein lies the solution. See if you can arrange a sit down with your boss and the other division manager. Lay out in detail the time and duplicative effort expended or time and resources wasted due to lack of clarity of who is responsible for what. Tell them how as an employee the job description gives you objective criteria to know that you are or are not meeting your employers expectations.
Tell how you see the organization benefiting from more clarity. Less stress and uncertainty for you. Fewer turf wars. More engagement.
Human Resource folks can also be of help in crafting the job description.
Feedback
“I look forward to the follow up article --
“Please remember that there are not only Smart Women (SW) but Smart Men (SM) too -- sometimes the New Person (NP) is a male who learns how the SW is entrenched in the organization out of fear or other skeletons -- thus the New Male Person or New Woman Person feels trapped and thus frustrated, leaves the organization before their talent is tapped. Some people like the NP zap the energy out of Old Person as well NP regardless.
“In short, I am the NP who doesn't know anything but am tasked at cleaning up behind the perceived SW!”
Carol Responds:
Good luck. Keep the faith and use the ACTION TOOLS!
That’s worth repeating…
“The [person] who looks least engaged may be the most committed member of the group. A cynic, after all, is a passionate person, who does not want to be disappointed again.”
Benjamin Zander
The Art of Possibility.
Recommended Reading
The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference
By Malcolm Gladwell.
I just finished listening to the audio version of the book. Really enjoyed it. It struck me that Human Resources and Management could learn take some of the insights of Mr. Gladwell and apply them for organizational change (particularly the chapter on The Law of the Few: Connectors, Mavens, and Salesman and the chapters on the Power of Context)
Excerpt
“The point [of the book] is to answer two simple questions that lie at the heart of what we would all like to accomplish as educators, parents, marketers, business people, and policy makers. Why is it that some ideas or behaviors or products start epidemics and others don’t? And what can we do to deliberately start and control positive epidemics of our own?”
* February 2008 edition of Fast Company Magazine has an interesting article about the book.
7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
By Steven Covey.
Yep. A perpetual. It sits in the corner of my bookshelf. Personally, the mission statement stuff is worth doing once. I don’t put much stock in Mission Statements. I prefer business plans. That being said, I do put great stock in Chapter 5 “Seeking First to Understand, Then Be Understood” (BTW- a principle articled by St. Francis of Assisi in The Prayer of St. Francis. Too bad good ol’ Francis couldn’t trademark the phrase)
Excerpt
“Empathetic listening involves much more than registering, reflecting, or even understanding the words that are said….In empathetic listening, you listen with your ears…you listen for feeling, for meaning. You listen for behavior. You use your right brain as well as your left. You sense, you intuit, you feel.”
Where's Carol???
March 19, 2008
The Roadmap to Resolution for the Human Resources Professional
Columbia Basin Chapter Society for Human Resource Management
May 15, 2008
Dealing with the Difficult, the Really Difficult and the Just Plain Ugly- Tactics to De-escalate, Validate, Navigate, & Problem Solve
Washington Association of Prosecuting Attorneys
Winthrop WA (Sun Mountain Lodge)
www.waprosecutors.org
June 11 , 2008
The Magic of the Mediator-Mediation Skills for the HR Professional
Seattle, WA
Washington Employers
www.wa-emp.com
June 19, 2008
Why “Good” Employees File EEOC Charges and What to Do About It
Tacoma WA
South Puget Sound Chapter Human Resource Management Association
http://spsnhrma.shrm.org
Do you want to bring a dynamic speaker to your organization or conference? Carol is scheduling engagements for 2008.
Call or email now to bring Carol to you!
(253)219-5532
ContactUs@ManagingConflict.com
Visit our Resources page for free articles and tips on resolving conflict at work.
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