Conflict Management Strategies eNewsletter
Vol IV, Issue 17, August 2008

• Reading: The Negativity Incubator
• Action Tools
• Ask Carol
• That's Worth Repeating
• Blog Announcement
• eNews Archive
• Recommended Reading
• Where's Carol??

We spend so much of our waking hours at work for it to be an uncomfortable, stressful place. I want to help you bring your best to the workplace and handle sticky situations gracefully and improve your working relationships. These Conflict Management Strategies are intended to help you accomplish that.

This month’s article comes courtesy of the fabulous Sue Pivetta, President of Professional Pride Training Company. Sue is a friend, colleague and mentor of mine. She works with 911 call centers and trains on conflict. I received her enews a few days ago and was blown away. I wanted to share her insight and tools with you. So I asked, and being the wonderful person she is she agreed. So here it is I strongly encourage you to READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE. SUE IDENTIFIED 6 HUGE SOURCES OF NEGATIVITY. The Action Tools help you work toward solutions for the sources of negativity.

Got Negativity? Got Solutions?
In the last month I have worked with three agencies experiencing conflict, negativity, dysfunction and high turnover. Leaders have 'tried everything' and often feel disappointed and powerless.

The ANGRY CRUSADER often can be a 'negativity generator'. Nothing you do can calm their feelings of victimization while they rally people to their cause. You cannot change history for the hurt person. And you cannot allow this person to continually create chaos either. What can you do? Read below - part of an email note sent today.

Dear ______ . What you did was good by asking everyone, "How can we make you happy?" Your current crisis may be a matter of changing the 'agency' culture to better serve the needs of the negativists - however, those changes must be systemic, complete and possible! AND will take time and trust - neither of which you have.

Take heart! There are things you can do immediately to intervene and begin to create peace and resolution.

Leaders often become exhausted from the Blame-Shame-Game. Emotional Overdose can result in; complete shutdown, withdrawal, apathy, micromanagement, or even hostility. Leaders have feelings too! It's natural and normal to feel wronged and attacked when all attempts to create positive change go nowhere. Defensive mechanisms kick in. Your agency then becomes a NEGATIVITY INCUBATOR .

Spiraling negativity needs intervention. People need safe dialogue facilitated by a trained mediator or facilitator. This process involves a bit of 'education' for all about conflict, effective communications skills and (kindly speaking) - growing up your staff. People must learn to work effectively with others through conflict and stress. This is not meant to be critical. These needed skills are often called INTERPERSONAL SKILLS and they can be learned or reminded or honed.

First begin to view negativity as you would pain in your body. Something isn't right. For example, I have had lower back pain - the cause is structural. I have stomach pain - the cause is internal. I have trouble seeing - the cause is obstructed vision. There needs to be diagnosis and proper adjustment or treatment - but first the pain must be alleviated.

Your agency may be experiencing negativity, apathy, conflict, immaturity - the cause? A diagnosis is needed with proper adjustments and treatment. In the meantime your people need relief so you can ensure safety for the promise you made to serve the public and the responders. The JOB cannot interfere with the WORK.

If your agency is experiencing a high level of negativity, most likely several things could be at play. I don't live there so I can only tell you what I have observed in agencies that struggle with human issues.

1. People are not being heard as meetings are not productive or non existent. Supervisors are too busy to connect personally with individuals on a regular basis - or not skilled at high level communications.
   
   
2. Negative historical wrongs are being used for contextual references when leaders try to implement positive change. Leaders do not sell change - they demand it.
   
   
3. Immature social, emotional or communications skills in some workers create conflict where peaceful resolution was possible if these skills were present .
   
   
4. Certain processes, practices, procedures, methods in the [the workplace] are not working but also are not changed when recognized. One example is shotgun approaches to mistakes or improper advisement of procedural changes.
   
   
5. Attributing challenges as the 'nature of the work' - it's a stressful job as an excuse not to explore other causes for workers stress levels and not educating workers and supervisors about incorrect perceptions of stress.
   
   
6. Allowing negative or unprofessional behaviors to continue attributing to the 'type of person' that can do this job (i.e. assertive, strong personality). No accountability. Side note - a supervisor stated her people refused to be accountable. Accountability is not something you can refuse - people are HELD accountable by leaders.
   
   

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Action Items/Treatment

These Action Items/Treatment are from Sue Pivetta to help you conquer the Negativity Incubator.

1. People are not being heard .....NEVER underestimate the importance or value of regular meetings with an agenda and full involvement. NEVER under estimate the importance of building trust through keeping your word and not canceling or letting these gatherings fade.
   
   
2. Negative historical wrongs .... get input where input is needed and will be USED only or the perception becomes, "Why bother." Do not get input if not used, but do sell change.
   
   
3. Immaturity - grow people up with training in Interpersonal Skills, Stress Management, Conflict Resolution. Begin with Supervisors.
   
   
4. Procedures / policies not working - Have a Policy Manual bashing / Training program bashing - to uncover what isn't working from those who have to try to make it work.
   
   
5. 'Nature of the work' - the work is a beautiful clear pond - the junk is what we throw into it!
   
   
6. Allowing negative or unprofessional behaviors 'good dispatcher / bad attitude' - stop making excuses for people - the work is not stress producing - the atmosphere may be - there is no such thing as a good dispatcher with a bad attitude - bad attitude = bad employee PERIOD

"We accept the verdict of the past until the need for change cries out loudly enough to force upon us a choice between the comforts of further inertia and the irksomeness of action."
-- Judge Learned Hand

Begin with making an investment of time - create a willingness to confront the discomfort with compassion and understanding - replacing defense, blame and flailing about. You don't need a leader if you have no place to go. Celebrate your work! Give yourself credit for your successes - which are MANY! The work you do is appreciated and the 'challenges' minor in comparison to what IS working well. Begin there - what do we do RIGHT, what does not need to change?

Respectfully,

Sue Pivetta
Professional Pride Training Company
email: sue@911trainer.com
web: http://www.911trainer.com

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Ask Carol

I regularly field questions from clients and conference participants. You know – those off-to-the-side sort of questions that you are dying to get some feedback on. Here is your chance to pick my brain for FREE. Send me your questions about workplace tension, challenges with working relationships, how to over come bad "Mojo" at work.

Q: Carol, do you have conflict at work?

A: Great question! People assume that because I teach about how to prevent conflict that all areas of my life are conflict free. Au Contraire. As a matter of fact I was mediating a dispute yesterday that arose between two of my key vendors regarding a project for my business. My husband also gets asked "so the two of you don't fight?"

Conflict naturally arises. I do find that I work hard to prevent conflict. Furthermore when it does break out, it tends to be shorter in duration and not damaging or explosive.

I do make a deliberate effort to engaging the skills. Sometimes I don't want to. But then I do it anyway.

Carol

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Feedback

Here is some feedback-a comment from the Ask The Workplace Conflict Expert Blog. The post was "Crazy Makers At Work"

"I am a man. In my opinion, we act more often then speak. It is our belief that our actions do not need verbal explanation. After all, why else would we be… (fill in the blank) We assume others understand our intent. we are often wrong. That makes us "crazy makers", even to each other."

Carol Responds:
I totally agree! Sometimes I am even a crazy maker to myself.

That’s worth repeating…

"Laughter might be called a gift to help us keep our sanity in the face of troubles."

--The 36-Hour Day

Blog Announcement

There are new "The Workplace Conflict Expert Says" blogs. Check them out!  Interesting stuff on Gender and Conflict. Workplace "Crazy Makers at Work", "Avoiding Claims of Sex Harassment", "Work/Life Balance is a Myth!" Check them out. Post your comments. Continue the conversation. Blog >>

eNews Archive

Have you missed an Enews?  Are you a new reader and what even more Action Tools to manage conflict at work and in life? Check out the eNews Archive for past articles and Action Tools.
eNews Archive >>

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Recommended Reading

Nothing to Fear: Lessons in Leadership From FDR by Alan Axelrod. I bought this book a while ago because I really enjoyed the author’s previous book Elizabeth I, CEO

Excerpt:
"Fear and the drift created by fear remain grave menaces when well-being, let alone limitless prosperity, cannot be thoughtlessly assumed to taken for granted.  But if the proposition of adversity is just opportunity in different clothes strikes you as hollow, please read on…"

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Where's Carol???

July 1, 2008 - If you MISSED it. The Audio Conference is for Sale on the PBB Website.
Professional Audio Conferences
Stopping Conflict From Destroying Your Organization-For Your Supervisors
www.pbb.com

September  17, 2008

Northwest Human Resource Management Association-Regional Conference
Kennewick, WA
How HR Torpedoes Itself During EEOC Mediations and What To Do About It.
www.nhrma.org

October 15, 2008

American Association of School Personnel-National Conference
Seattle WA
The Roadmap to Resolution for the School HR Professional
www.aaspa.org

Visit our Resources page for free articles and tips on resolving conflict at work.

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