Conflict Management Strategies eNewsletter
Vol IV, Issue 21, January 2009

• Reading: The Power of One - Does One Bad Apple Spoil the Bunch?
• Action Tools
• Ask Carol
• Feedback
• That's Worth Repeating
• NEW FEATURE: Recommended Viewing/Listening/Downloads
• Where's Carol??

The Power of One - Does One Bad Apple Spoil the Bunch?

Well, does "one bad apple spoil the bunch?". Yes! Here is why and some suggestions about what to do about it.

A few weeks ago I was listening to one of my favorite radio programs This American Life on my local National Public Radio channel. There was a brief story about a scientific study that tested the adage "one bad apple spoils the bunch".

While many of us can attest to the fact, up until recently there was no science to support the anecdotal evidence. Now we have it.

According to the story, one person in less than 5 minutes can take a team from excited and purposeful to apathy and in fighting. (See the link below). The "bad apple behavior" of Jerks, Slackers, and Depressive Pessimists becomes a contagion.

So this got me thinking. How much impact can one person have? AND why don't people do something about the Jerk, Slacker, and Depressive Pessimists? What prevents other well-meaning people from calling the bad behavior and making different choices?

Here is why…

1. Coworkers assume the "bad apple" knows that his/her behavior will self-correct.
2. People don't know how to call out the bad behavior without escalating the situation.
3. When things go bad, people just want the bad experience to be over – quickly - but don't realize that by not addressing the situation, it will go on longer.
4. Employees and managers don't know how to positively re-enforce pleasant behavior without feeling awkward; for example, " Wow, great job on not acting like you normally do…".
5. Some folks are scared that the "bad apple" will turn the negative energy on to them.
6. The "bad apple" folks fail to recognize their own bad apple behavior, thus don't do anything to change.
7. Alternatively, the "bad apple" folks DO recognize their own behavior but:
   a. it works for them or
   b. no one has called them on it
8. People don't have role models on good behavior at work, so they make it up or use the same poor behavior at work that they do at home or with friends.

So what does this mean? Is it hopeless? NO!! The power of one also works for the good. The power that each of us has to empower one another through listening and trying to create an atmosphere of acknowledgement and recognition.

Take a minute to view the links below. Be inspired. Then try the action tools to prevent "one bad apple from spoiling the bunch".

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Action Tools

These Action Tools are designed to get you thinking about the "Power of One". Fun interactive stuff here.

Step 1: View the This American Life video (link below). Answer the following questions:

1. What toxic behaviors do I see on my team?
2. What toxic behaviors do I exhibit?
3. If I see toxic behaviors, why am I not standing up and putting a stop to it?

Step 2: Watch the Dancing Guy Video. Answer the following questions:

1. If one person can make a difference in the work place, what can I do?
2. What is preventing me from doing it?
3. Email your team. Ask them to listen and watch.
4. Ask the group the same questions that are listed above. Make it a fun, no-risk activity. For instance, forward the emails to your folks and ask "So what does this Matt guy know that we don't about making work fun?"
   
   HINT: if you get snarky answers such as "He doesn't have to deal with Jack", turn it around with "I am sure he also faces challenges like airport security, language barriers, traveler's tummy AND still does it! Given our challenges, what CAN we do?"

or

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall … check out this story... this was hitting close to home. What can we do about it?"

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Ask Carol

I regularly field questions from clients and conference participants. You know – those off-to-the-side sort of questions that you are dying to get some feedback on. Here is your chance to pick my brain for FREE. Send me your questions about workplace tension, challenges with working relationships, how to over come bad "Mojo" at work.

Q: HELP!!!! My team is falling apart. One person gets great praise from other departments as friendly and hard working. The other team members seem to resent the special recognition and accuse him of hogging the limelight -undeservedly. It is a mess. Any suggestions to get these folks acting more like a team?

A: Yes. Sounds like there are competing definitions of what it means to be a "team player".

Here is what I mean. The Oscar season is upon us. If the award winning actor said, "I so deserve this. My work was great!", the audience would think "what an egotistical jerk!" If, however, the actor follows the accepted protocol of profuse gratitude TO THOSE WHO GOT HIM THERE and an acceptable amount of humility, all is well.

What you have on your hands is a mismatch. A person who seeks individual recognition clashing with a group that goes by "There is no '‘I' in TEAM."

Take the person aside and let him or her in on the secret. "Here at ABC we focus on teamwork. We do give individuals recognition, but we know that we only succeed as a team, so please share the wealth. Acknowledge the team."

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Feedback

Thank you for the December eNews article ‘Why the Economic Crisis = More Conflict Among Employees'. In a concise and logical way, you explained how the current economic issues are affecting people at work (and at home). Thanks for adding the funny links! The car wreck audio was hysterical.

-- Amie, Admin Professional

Carol Responds: Great! Thank you. I try very hard to make the issues fun and informative. In case you missed it, here is the December eNews she mentioned. If there is ever a topic you have an interest in, please let me know. Often I am inspired by questions or comments from readers and clients.

That's worth repeating…

"The work of a business, of a government bureaucracy,
of most forms of human activity, is something pursued
not by individuals but by teams."

Andrew Grove
Former President and CEO, Intel

NEW FEATURE: Recommended Viewing/Listening/Downloads

VIDEOS

One Dancing Man: My roommate from college forwarded me this link. The "star", Matt, looks like her husband. Yep. However, what I saw was how one person can instigate some great stuff - be a "daymaker" in many places with something so simple. It might take a minute or two to download - hit play. Watching…it has the power to make you happy.

Validation: This was just sent to me by Theresa Chamber, Chief Motivational Officer for Recognition Works. Watch it! A great mini-film that takes a new twist about every 3 minutes. There are some powerful lessons about the power one parking attendant can have. A few good life lessons in this one.

The Power of One: An older film. The film is not as sugar sweet as the trailer leads you to believe. Morgan Freeman is in this one. Based on a true story. Also a book.

AUDIO

Ruining It For the Rest of Us: A great interview of Will Phelps discussing the impact of Jerks, Slackers, Depressant Pessimists in the workplace. SCARY.

RECOMMENDED READING

Life as a Daymaker: How to change the world by making someone's day. I found it inspirational—as a business owner and as a person. This book was recommended to me. It is very small - the photo above is almost its real size. (Really - it is about 5x7). A fast read with easily digestible advice.

Excerpt: "People get burned out easily if they don't achieve goals. Keep yourself away from burn out by constantly having purposeful interactions. Working doesn't cause burn out, not achieving your goals does."

17 Irrefutable Laws of Teamwork: I owned a copy of this book which sat on my shelf completely neglected. Wandering through Half Price Books last week, I found the audio version. Being a fan of the audio book, I picked it up. After the first 10 minutes, I realized what a dummy I was for donating the book. I now need to buy the book again to mark up and use for my clients.

Outliers The Story of Success: I just saw Malcolm Gladwell at the Greater Seattle Chamber of Commerce "Leaders and Legends" luncheon series. Very cool. I was a fan on Mr. Gladwell's books The Tipping Point and Blink. He was an engaging speaker. I selected this book for this month because of the take on the overemphasis on the individual…

Excerpt: "What is the question we always ask about the successful? We want to know what they're like - what kind of personalities they have, or how intelligent they are, or what kind of lifestyles they have, or what special talents they might have been born with. And we assume that it is those personal qualities that explain how that individual reached the top…."

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Where's Carol???

Audio Conference IF you missed it...
Government Leadership - Creating a Calm & Engaged Work Environment in Today's Economy
Available for purchase.

Feb 10, 2009
Women are Icky & Men are Jerk: Gender and Conflict at Work for the Human Resource Professional.
SHRM Central Washington University Chapter
Ellensburg, WA
SHRM Ellensburg

February18, 2009
Conflict Resolution Skills for the Automotive Professional
Automotive Service Association –Olympic Peninsula Chapter
Bremerton, WA
Event Information

March 10, 2009
Workplace Conflict Resolution for Lawyers: What you and your clients need to know
Washington State Trial Lawyers Pierce County Roundtable
Tacoma, WA
Event Contact: Shelly Speir

May 2, 2009
Embarrassment, Entitlement, and Power-The 3 Trolls Under the Bridge in Employment Mediations.
15th Northwest Dispute Resolution Conference
University of Washington School of Law
Seattle, WA
Event Information

July 8, 2009
Conflict Resolution for the Education Professional
Washington School Personnel Association HELP Program
Western Washington University
Bellingham, WA

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