| HOW TO
ASK
Conflict
Management Strategies eNewsletter
Vol
III, Issue 3, July, 2006
In June I explored "Why
People Don’t Ask" and gave "Action
Tools for Anyone Receiving a Request." This month
I follow up with "How to Ask". First, I want to
acknowledge that asking for what you want does involve risk—in
some situations more than others. (See
June’s eNewsletter) We put ourselves in the position
of being rejected. HOWEVER, the risk can be minimized and
probability of your success increased dramatically. Read on...
Information you MUST know!
Studies show and personal experience proves: The higher
the position the LESS they listen. In his book Selling to
Very Important Top Officers Anthony Parnello suggests that
to be heard, speak ONLY in terms of benefits. Explain the
benefit of saying yes to your request—not the benefit
to you-the benefit to 1) the person receiving the request
& 2) the organization.
High level executives think in terms of revenue, market
share, value to share holders, and accountability to constituents
and the Board of Directors. Managers think in terms of accountability
to their bosses. Only a very savvy executive and managers
link employee satisfaction to the bottom line.
So when you ask phrase the benefit in terms of gains for
the organization, not just you, your workgroup or department.
Think about when you interviewed for your current position.
Did you yammer on about how great the job is for you (nice
benefits, good salary, and retirement package). Of course
not! I will bet that you focused on what YOU bring to the
employer, what a great employee you will be for the company,
how your special skills and talents will make the employer
$$$$$.
ACTION TOOLS
How to Ask
- Think. Be clear on what you want and why you want
it. Think in terms of what your needs are. Is it respect?
Is it a sense of fairness?
- Research. Does this person even have the power
to grant your request?
- Practice!!! Poor delivery hurts you chances for
success.
- Ask "What about this works for you?"
- Listen. Seek to "get" why the person
cannot or will not grant your request.
- Flex. There is more than one way to skin a cat
and likely more than one way of getting what you want. Be
willing to be flexible.
- Revisit the conversation if necessary. Persistence
often pays off.
Remember, YOU –THE ASKER- have the advantage of
advanced planning and careful timing. Take that advantage
and leverage it.
Good luck!!! Let me know how it goes.
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