Conflict
Management Strategies eNewsletter
Vol IV, Issue 24, April 2009
Strange Behavior at Work
- What to Overlook and When to Look Deeper
I was in need of a latte. I walked into the nearest coffee house and the place was - not exactly gross, but not inviting.
LOUD - coffee grinding, milk steaming, people talking, counter person shouting "NEXT CUSTOMER!!! NEXT CUSToMER IN LINE!!"
(I should mention here that this place is a large national chain that prides itself on creating a great customer experience. If anyone reading this is a member of a large national chain of coffee houses and you think that it was one of your locations, READ ON!)
Being well on the way to a caffeine withdrawal headache, I took my place in line.
"NEXT! NEXT CUSTOMER IN LINE!"
I got to the front, the counter person looked at me and …nothing.
I mean that she had no expression at all. Totally flat affect. I thought that she might have Asperger Syndrome since a dog watching TV would have more facial expression.
I got my drink and then started looking closer. Of the four people behind the counter, not one was interacting with one another. No eye contact. No glances. No talking. Each was totally in their own world. Each focusing entirely on the task in front of them.
An excellent example of Workplace Silos. In a workgroup of only four people. A complete communication shut down.
The exception was one worker. As she restocked each station, she would say hello and make small talk with her co-workers. She was the only person who seemed to be having a good time at work.
What is the lesson? Even in the smallest organizations, emotional shut downs and concentration on task completion to the exclusion of all else undermines the working environment.
I would bet that, if asked, not one of those workers would say that it is a great working environment AND would have a hard time putting a finger on why. To management and the corporate office, the store might be great. Sales are good at the location, busy place.
But to the customer and the workers, it ain't so great.
Someone might suggest that the floors are swept more often and the tables wiped down.
HOWEVER, the messiness is not for lack of attention to detail — it is as a result of over concentration on individual tasks to the point of creating workplace silos. Rather than giving someone one more thing to do, a manager or coworker simply needs to pop their head up from their work and notice how the people are doing?
Workplace silos happen all the time. Sometimes intentionally. Sometimes unintentionally. The result is increased tension and dissatisfaction at work. The most troubling aspect of workplace silos is how easily they can be prevented and broken down.
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Action Tools
These Action Tools are designed to help you identify and overcome Workplace Silos. Give them a try. Tell me how it goes.
- Stop, look, listen. Take a 10 second assessment of your workgroup. Is anyone talking to one another beyond "I need this ...", "Did you do that?". If there is no talking going on or talk is only about tasks, you may have a Workplace Silo.
- Ask around. Ask others in your workplace/workgroup if they notice that no one seems to be talking to one another. "Hey, I noticed that we aren't really talking to each other lately. I don't know if I am off base here or something. Have you noticed it too?"
- Start a conversation. Be like the female worker in the article. If no one is talking, you be the one to start the conversation. It as simple as saying: "How are things going?", "Do you need any help", "It's pretty quiet around here, it is giving me the creeps - no one seems to be having a good time."
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Ask Carol
I regularly field questions from clients and conference participants. You know – those off-to-the-side sort of questions that you are dying to get some feedback on. Here is your chance to pick my brain for FREE. Send me your questions about workplace tension, challenges with working relationships, how to over come bad "Mojo" at work.
Q: Carol, I haven't seen you talk about TRUST. Isn't TRUST essential to resolving conflict?
A: TRUST is essential. However, once conflict breaks out TRUST is damaged. I focus on RESPECT rather than TRUST. Why? Because most everyone can agree that people need to be treated with RESPECT. So I build on the need for RESPECT and from that TRUST can be rebuilt.
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Feedback
This piece of feedback came from the Managing Conflict Blog Posting New ADA Amendments will cause increase in discrimination filings
"It is amazing to me that managers don't remember the training they get on the law."
Carol Responds:
Yes. That is if managers or any employees actually do get training on the rights and responsibilities of the employment relationship. Most, unfortunately, don't. The fact that people forget something that they were exposed to once is to be expected.
Good companies make efforts to reinforce the learning on a daily basis and make it everyone's job to know what the boundaries are.
That's worth repeating…
"Ugliness, after all, even more than beauty, is in the eye of the beholder"
--Elinor Burkett
New Feature!!
Resources to be THANKFUL for
Here are a few resources that can provide information and/or some much needed TLC.
 Join me on the Managing Conflict Blog for some conversation- sharing information-creating a community of people who are interested in doing better at work.
 Cupcake Royal: Because sometime you just need a really good cupcake to get through the day.
A great stress reliever and way to clear your mind.
Go ahead. Snap some bubbles!
Recommended Viewing & Reading
VIEWING: There is something almost delightful about sitting in judgment of others. Expect, of course when our judgments prove wrong or make us look like an arrogant, know-it-all jerk.
Take a look at these video clips by clicking on the picture or the title.
 Snarking Validation:
Because sometimes we all think that we are the only smart person on the planet...
 Susan Boyle:
Turn the volume up. Listen to what unfolds.
The song is great — really speaks to the difficulties of "grown up life."Your expectations will be blown. See how quickly we judge each other and listen to how amazing it is when people are on your side. Listen to the entire piece including the comments.
 After YOU!
This is so good that I wanted to share it again.
This is my favorite download. I shared it with you last month, but my ever awesome assistant Amie said that people might not have noticed the link.
READING: I selected these books because they demonstrate how our perspective is very different from others, how we judge others, and how others judge us.
 So Many Enemies So Little Time: An American Woman In All the Wrong Places.
 The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down: A Hmong Child, Her American Doctors, and the Collision of Two Cultures.
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Where's Carol???
May 2, 2009
Embarrassment, Entitlement, and Power - The Three Trolls Under the Bridge in Employment Mediations
16th Northwest Dispute Resolution Conference
University of Washington School of Law
Seattle, WA
July 8, 2009
Conflict Resolution for the Education Professional
Washington School Personnel Association HELP Program
Western Washington University
Bellingham, WA
October 1, 2009
When the Balls Drop - Managing Intergenerational Conflict
Northwest Human Resource Management Conference
Portland, OR
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Do you want to bring a dynamic speaker to your organization or conference? Call or email now to bring Carol to you!
(253)219-5532
ContactUs@ManagingConflict.com
Visit our Resources page for free articles and tips on resolving conflict
at work.
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